Where to Go Now
by NekoGirl02
Summary: My parents, dead. My brother, missing. My home, well, there's no place left there for me anymore. My family name, forgotten. So what am I? At the end of the day, I'm still nothing. Genre may change.
1. A Past Unable to be Left Behind

**Where to Go Now: A Kuroshitsuji Fanfiction**

Chapter 1: A Past Unable to be Left Behind

The night my estate was raided, I lost everything.

 _ **Flashback**_

"Estella, you must wake up," my brother said. I groggily rubbed my eyes and sat up. "What time is it?" I asked, still half asleep. "That doesn't matter now. We need to go," August said. "Why? What's wrong?" I asked, picking up on the urgent tone in his voice. "Now Estella," I realized at that moment, something bad was going to happen within the next few minutes. August and I both get a hunch before anything bad happens. We crept out of my room towards the wine cellar. That was the one place we knew no one would look. Not long after, we heard the sound of glass being broken. August put a finger to his lips, signaling that I needed to stay quiet. "Remember, jus' the Earl an' his wife," a man said. "We want the brats t' pay the ransom." I heard the footsteps receding and I could hear the stairs creaking. Not long after, I heard doors being thrown open, gunshots, and the unmistakable scream of my mother. I let out a strangled scream and August clamped his hand over my mouth.

They can't be dead, they would have to be alive for a ransom to be offered. The next thing I heard was something, most likely my mother and father, being dragged down the stairs. "We got yer folks. Pay the money er they're dead. Have it by the end o' the week," a different voice said. The front door was shut forcefully. "I'm going to see if anyone is still here and to assess the damage," August said. He eased open the door and crept out. I sat with my knees pulled to my chest. It was dark, and the cooler temperatures of the cellar were seeping through my thin nightgown into my bones. After what seemed like forever, August opened the door. "You can come out now," he said. I took his offered hand and exited the cellar.

As I looked around, I saw that the side window had been broken and had a hole in it large enough for an average-sized man to fit through. Besides the bloodstains on the stairs, nothing else looked disturbed on the first floor. We walked up the staircase, carefully avoiding the crimson marks on the gold-trimmed blue rug. We approached our parent's bedroom. The room was destroyed. Their things were scattered around and there were more blood stains on the teal walls. Then, I saw the bodies. Not mother and father, but our five servants. I walked over to the servant that attended to me. Her name was Gabriella, and she was less like a servant and more like a friend. The servants seemed to have been shot in various places, ranging from the head to below the knee. On the bed, I saw the note. "Three-hundred thousand pounds" I read. Twenty years' worth of money? "We have six days," August said.

We helped out, disguised as peasants, whenever we could. But, by the end of the week, we had only earned a mere twenty pounds. "Damn it," August said, slamming his fist down on the mahogany table. "Still not enough!" I realized, cold horror, that we failed them. With that thought, I began to cry. My brother must have heard me, because he said, "There's still a way. I can go after the kidnappers." I nodded. He went to his room and came back with the gun he kept under his bed in case of emergencies. He gave me a smile. "I'll be back with Mom and Dad before you know it." He walked out the door.

I waited a week. No messages from August. My manor, once filled with happy memories, seemed dark, evil. I made up my mind. I was going to run away. I dug through clothes until I found a pair of old, patched-up trousers, a stained white button-down shirt, a brown jacket, a flat cap, and a pair of boots that didn't seem like something a noble would wear. The shirt was loose-fitting, so I didn't have to worry about disguising my almost non-existent curves. Now for my hair. It would be a dead giveaway that I was a Goldstein, because no one else has hair this color. I dug through my mother's things and found the brown hair dye she used for her graying roots. It said it was long-lasting. Good. I took the hair dye to my bathroom and leaned over the tub. I rubbed the dye into my hair and waited with it on for thirty minutes like the package said. After thoroughly rinsing, I rapped my hair in a towel. When it was dry, I brushed it and looked in the mirror. I didn't want to do this, but I had to. _Snip._ Strands of hair fell into the sink. After giving myself a boyish cut, I got dressed, packed some supplies, and left.

It was colder than I thought. An elderly woman was selling scarfs. "Scarfs here! Hand-knitted and keep out the chill!" I walked over and gave her the ten shillings she wanted. I gratefully accepted the red knitted scarf and put it on. I found a dead-end alley and crouched in the corner. Eventually, I fell asleep.

The next day, a boy trying to sell newspapers was shouting, "Earl Goldstein and his wife found dead in mysterious building. August and Estella Goldstein missing. Presumed dead." I walked on. I didn't want to hear about that. After all, I left that life behind. Right?

 **Author's Note:**

 **This is my first Black Butler or Kuroshitsuji (whichever one you want to call it) fanfic. What do you think of Estella? Is there anything I could have done differently that would improve the story? Leave your answer in a review.**

 **Estella: Goodbye!**

 **Well, see you next chapter!**


	2. Meet the Earl of Phantomhive

**Chapter Two**

 **Meet the Earl of Phantomhive**

 **A/N: Hey guys! I'm back with an update! Sorry it wasn't up last Thursday!**

It was very windy and cold. The cool temperatures seemed to be coming in from the Thames. My stomach growled. I reached into... Where was my bag? It contained the money I would need, some food, water, and other things. My stomach growled again, more insistent this time. I know, I'll look around for free samples! After stopping by each shop near my alley which still no food to be gained, I sighed. Plan B. I didn't like Plan B, but this was turning into the worst case scenario. I walked around, seeing if there were any rich looking people. Bingo! I saw a younger boy, about my age. I could tell he's a noble.

I bumped into him. "Oops! I'm very sorry sir!" I exclaimed. I grabbed his wallet as I was backing away. "Don't let it happen again," the boy said gruffly. I nodded, and took off, weaving through the streets back to my alley. Okay, so it isn't exactly my alley. I just mentally claimed it. I pulled out the wallet. About two-thousand pounds. "Dear Lord, this will last a while!" I said happily to myself. I didn't notice until too late that a dark shape landed behind me. "Hello, I believe you have something that belongs to my master," it, no he, said. He then picked me up by my jacket collar and carried me to his master.

I was dropped, yes literally dropped, in front of the boy from before. "Give me my wallet," he demanded. "No," I said simply. "No? Do you realize that you are talking to the Queen's Guard Dog?" he said. Oh no. Oh God no! I froze. I stole from Ciel Phatomhive, the Queen's Guard Dog! I'm done for! Great job, Estella! I handed over the wallet. As he got one hand on it, my stomach growled loudly enough to turn a few heads. Ciel sighed. He then handed over five pounds. "Buy yourself something to stop that noise," he said. He turned around. "Sebastian, what did you find out about the Goldstein case?" Ciel said to his butler. "My lord, I found out the whole family is gone. It would make sense to go to the manor, but the place is all locked up and we need a key," the butler, Sebastian said. Since I didn't move from before and was listening to their conversation, I said, "I have a key." They turned my way. "I used to work for them as a servant, but I stayed at my house at night," I said. They were whispering about something. "Fine, come with us," Ciel said.

We boarded the carriage. He sat across from me as his butler drove. The air was full of awkward silence. "Young master, we are here," Sebastian said. He helped Ciel out. I helped myself out.

My manor. I didn't expect it to look so menacing. Ciel must have noticed me stop. "Are you coming?" he asked. "Yes, sorry," I replied. I can't mess up my disguise. I went to the front door and pulled the necklace with the key on it off my neck. I unlocked the door and stepped inside. The Earl followed me in. Memories flashed in my mind. The screams, the voices, the bodies, the blood, the blood, the blood. I screamed, fell to the ground, and held my head. The blood. On the stairs, the carpets, the bedroom floor. My screams eventually turned into body-racking sobs. "No, no, no," I muttered. The screams and sobs mixed into horrid noise that I made until my voice went hoarse.

A gloved hand was offered to me. "I do hope you are okay now," Sebastian said. I took his hand. "Young master, I believe the lady has something to tell you," he said. "Lady!?" Ciel shouted in disbelief at what his butler had told him. I nodded. "I…uhmg" I cleared my throat so I could sound normal. "I am Estella Marie Goldstein," I said solemnly.

 **A/N: What do you think? Good? If not, what can I improve?**

 **Estella: Adios, amigos!**

 **Ciel: English, please.**

 **Sebastian: The incompetent servants made another mess. I must be going. Goodbye!**

 **See you next chapter!**


	3. Investigating the Crime Scene

**A/N: Hi! Sorry for not updating last week! Here's your new chapter!**

"You're Lady Estella Marie Goldstein?!" Ciel said incredulously. I nodded. He stood there, staring at me, dumbfounded. "Lady Goldstein, you were here the night of your parents' kidnappings, correct?" Sebastian asked me. "Yes, I was," I said. "What can you tell us about that night?" Ciel, who was no longer dumbfounded asked. "My parents were abducted by a group of people. There were at least three, and all of those three were men. They killed our five servants, and left a ransom note of three-hundred thousand pounds," I said. "Three-hundred thousand pounds!" the two of them exclaimed. "So these people weren't your average kidnappers," Sebastian said. "What do you think they would want so much money for?" Ciel asked. "I do not know, My Lord," Sebastian said.

"Lady Estella, would you feel comfortable taking us upstairs?" Ciel asked. Should I take them upstairs? It could give clues to who ripped me from happy life. It could also give me another mental breakdown. Memories from the previous breakdown flashed in my mind. I did not want another one of those, but the pros out way the cons. "Well?" he said. I nodded. I fear if I speak, my voice will not come out and I would be left in open-mouthed stupor. "Please lead the way," said Sebastian.

I made my way up the stairs, avoiding each and every crimson stain on the carpet. Ciel seemed to note the different marks, mentally recording the size, color, and shape of each one. I was most likely being overdramatic and over imaginative about this. At least, I hoped I was. I stopped at the top and looked down at the Earl Phantomhive and his butler. "My parents' bedroom is this way," I said. I lead the way down the right branch of the hallway and stopped in front of the door. "If you don't mind, I would prefer to wait outside," I said. I really did not want to go in there. "Of course, Lady Estella," Sebastian said with a bow.

I sat outside the door with my back to a wall. I wanted out of here more than anything. Why am I still here? Oh right. I wanted to avenge my parents and get revenge on the ones who did this. Those bastards were going to pay! "We're done," Ciel announced. I looked up. "Sebastian, the blood is in a trail, follow it," Ciel said. "Is that an order?" Sebastian asked, quirking an eyebrow. "Yes, now get on it! And get a carriage while you're at it!" Ciel snapped. "Yes, my Lord."

He turned to me. "Are you coming?" Ciel asked and offered me a hand. "Yeah." I took his hand and got up. We walked out, in my case, speed walking out. I was glad to leave. After locking the door behind us, we entered the carriage.

Most of the ride was in silence. Not so much an awkward silence, but more of a thoughtful one. Him, probably thinking about the case, and me, how horrible my life had gotten after that night took everything from me. I was also wondering what happened to August. Is my brother dead, enduring some kind of torture, or living happily ever after as a peasant. I scoffed. The last one was almost impossible. Then I pictured August as a peasant in my head. He would be selling bran muffins. I started to laugh, attempted to stifle it, and failed. Ciel looked at me, very confused. His look said, ' _What the heck? Are you insane?'_ This did not help at all, seeing how it made me laugh harder. "Be quiet!" the carriage driver snapped. I stopped laughing, seeing how I didn't want to upset the man further.

We arrived at his estate. A few moments later, the front door was opened by...Sebastian? "Welcome back, Young Master," he said. I don't believe it! How is he here? Ciel turned around and motioned for me to come in and not stand outside the door. "Young Master!" Three other servants yelled loudly, only to be silenced by a glare from Sebastian. "Who are they?" I quietly asked Ciel. "The female is my maid, Mey-rin, the shorter man is my gardener, Finny, and the other man is my chef, Bard," he said. "Sebastian, escort her to a guest room. Prepare a bath as well." "Yes, my Lord."

I followed the black-clad butler to the room that was going to be mine. For how long, I did not know. He then proceeded to prepare the bath. Once the tub was full I said, "You can go." He bowed, and left. I stuck my finger in the water. It was the perfect temperature. I stripped off my clothes and climbed into the tub. I scrubbed myself from head to toe and made sure to wash my hair thoroughly. The dye still looked to be going strong. Damn. It's of no use to me now, so I wish it would just go away. After determining myself to be completely clean, I got out, wrapped myself in a towel, and went towards my adjoining bedroom.

 **A/N: What did you think? Good? Decent? Awful? Reviews are appreciated!**

 **Estella: See ya!**

 **Bye guys! See you next Chapter!**


	4. Fancy Dresses and Feeding the Poor

**A/N: Hi! Sorry for the late update! I got my laptop taken and was unable to write. Okay, enough with my crap! Here's your chapter!**

On the bed that was now mine sat a scarlet dress. It had black lace on the ends of the elbow-length sleeves and down the center. There was fringe around the neckline and a single red rose positioned in the middle of a black bow not more than an inch farther down. I dried myself off and started to get dressed, starting with the damn corset. I hated those things. After putting on the dress, I glanced at the shoes, uncomfortable black heels. With a sigh, I slipped them on. I now looked like a proper Victorian noblewoman, minus the hair since mine was too boyish. I then left my room in search of food.

Okay, maybe it wasn't the best idea to go around the mansion looking for food. I looked around, completely lost. If I could only find the dining room! The rooms around me all had closed doors. I could knock on each one and if someone opened one, I could ask for directions to the dining hall or stay lost. Swallowing my pride, I raised my hand to knock on the first door.

From behind it, I heard a loud crash. I opened it and saw the maid, Mey-rin on the ground. "Are you okay?" I asked running up to her. Curse these heels! "You don't need to worry about m' lady, no you don't. I'm fine." Although her glasses looked slightly cracked, she was, as she said, fine. The plates she was carrying on the other hand, were not. "Mr. Sebastian going to be furious with me, yes he is!" she said, sounding like she was about to panic. "Calm down, I'll help you clean these up," I said. Together we brushed the china pieces into a pile. "Do you have a broom and dust pan?" I asked. She brought them out and while I was holding the dust pan, swept the shards in. "All cleaned up now, yes it is! Thank you," Mey-rin said. "You're welcome. By the way, do you know where the dining room?" I asked. At this point I was starving. "Yes I do, follow me."

At the table, in front of me sat a delicious looking stew, fresh bread, a salad, a cup of tea, and a heavenly-looking cake. I didn't know what to try first. Wait, no, I did. I'll start with the salad. Crunchy green lettuce, rich red tomatoes, orange carrots, and cool cumbers covered in an Italian vinaigrette. I took a sip of my tea. Earl Gray. Hold on. Here I was eating like a queen while there were children starving for days, some no older than five, out on the streets where I just got out of. I felt sick to my stomach. I can't eat this. "What's wrong my lady? Does something not taste right?"

I looked up and saw Sebastian. "No, everything tastes fine!" I said stuttering. Great, now I seemed ungrateful. "Then what is the problem?" he asked. "Well it kind of bothers me that while I'm eating like a royal, the children on the streets are dying of starvation. Do you think we would be able to give some of the food to them?" I really did want to help them. I felt terrible. "I do not know. I would have to ask the young master. I will try my best to make it happen," he said. I felt relieved of some of the guilt. But getting Ciel's approval? Well, that really is hope crushing.

 _ **Ciel's POV**_

"What does she want to do?" I asked. Right her. Estella Goldstein. I was asked by the Queen to find out what happened to Earl Goldstein and his family. "Lady Estella wants to give some of the food to the street children," Sebastian was saying. "Sure, go ahead." "My lord?" "It doesn't affect me, let her do so." "My lord, if she goes, you and I would have to go as well. If we let her go alone, we might lose the last Goldstein. If I go with her, because of your incredible ability to get into trouble, you might get kidnapped." "Fine!" I snapped. "We'll go. Get out, Sebastian." "Yes, my lord." I sighed. This is more trouble than its worth.

 _ **Back to Estella's POV**_

"He said yes?" I was confused. Very, very, very confused. "My lady, the young lord is not as cold and heartless as you think," Sebastian said. I slipped on a coat and gloves. Now we were just waiting for Ciel. In Sebastian's hands was the pot of stew and the handle of a basket full of bowls was on his arm. The Earl arrived. "Are you ready to go?" he asked me. "Yes." I replied. We boarded a carriage and rode to the area where Ciel and I first met. Up and down the alleys we walked, and each time we saw a child, we stopped and filled up bowl. These bowls were ceramic, inexpensive, and replaceable. I took great joy in seeing the kids smile and couldn't help but smile back.

 _ **Ciel's POV**_

Estella has a nice smile. Wait, did I just think that! Bloody hell, do I like her?! As I was having this mini freak out in my mind, the said person was asking if I was alright. "I'm fine," I replied. "You look red," she said, sounding concerned. Damn it! I was blushing! Estella walked over and put her hand on my forehead. "You feel warm too. I think you might have a fever." I felt myself grow redder. After an awkward cough, I said "Yes, maybe." "We should return to your manor then," she said. "Sebastian, get the carriage." "Yes, my lord."

 **A/N: What do you think? I do realize Ciel is OOC in the last paragraph, but I just had to do it.**

 **Estella: Ciel, are you alright?**

 **Ciel: (Is still blushing) I'm fine.**

 **Sebastian: Ooh, does the young master have a c-**

 **Ciel: Sebastian, I order you to shut up!**

 **Chaos is erupting. *Ducks as a chair is thrown* I must go. Goodbye! *Does AOT salute* Okay, who threw the chair!**

 **See you next chapter!**


End file.
